Today I finally understood why Albert Camus could write about such length about “the absurd.” He’s French. Of course this revelation came after a dalliance with the Office of Immigration and Integration. The way things work in this country is so preposterous sometimes, it could only be described as absurd. Sometimes the people, offices and bureaucracy make no sense whatsoever. On days like these, when it feels like the entire system has converged against me, I can’t even feel upset. I just feel numb. There’s disbelief, but you just can’t be angry at the absurd.
Here is a list of things that irritate me about France:
-A general lack of communication between people/organizations. This is the worst and most evident when you deal with any government-run organization. New laws get passed and the people whose jobs are to deal with the general public have not received or read the memo. When you meet the rare competent and well-informed worker, even they will tell you that getting things done or approved is a matter of luck. Different French people give you different answers to the same question. In fact the same person will give you different answers the same question. The official word that is posted on government websites takes ages to trickle down and come into effect in real life. The best people to turn to with your questions are other foreigners. Somehow they are always-up-to-date on new laws and procedures and can give valuable advice on how to convince bureaucrats you’re not just making it all up.
-The inability to say “I don’t know.” Instead of admitting they don’t know the answer to your question and asking someone who does, they often send you off to someone else (usually across town.) Sometimes this is done under the guise of telling you this is the person you who can help you. The other halfo the time, they honestly send you to the person they think can help. Inevitably, this person will not know the answer, do the same and pass you along. It’s the French version of pinball.
-Everything is more complicated than it needs to be. No one does this better than the French. If I need to deal with bureaucracy, I need to leave the house with every single piece of paper I have whether it’s related to the task at hand or not. Every single form requires a stamp or another piece of paper from someone else. Why not make it easy for everyone and making ridiculous and irrelevant demands? I complain about red tape in Canada but lately, I’ve found myself saying, “This would never happen in Canada.” It’s a little sad when you grow to appreciate your home only by living through a lower standard elsewhere.
-Opening hours of offices/stores/organizations. If you want to get something done you either need to get up at 8.00 or do it after lunch. The entire country shuts down at 12.00 and does not start up again until at least 13.30. (Sometimes it takes until 15.00 to get going again.) Everyone is on their lunch break except for restaurants, bakeries and some of the bigger stores. Even some supermarkets close for lunch. This collective shut down makes it impossible to run errands during your lunch break. Things re-open for a few hours and only to close between the hours of 16.30-20.30, depending what it is. Most things are closed by 18.00. Naturally, only restaurants and cafes are open on Sunday. I’ve accidentally showed up at the library on Monday countless times to return books only to find it closed and there are no deposit boxes.
-The lack of English speaking people. Yes, I know I came to France to speak French. But when I’m talking to the director of Office of Immigration, it’s not a language exchange situation. I’d prefer things to be clear, rather than practise my speaking and comprehension skills. How can people who don’t speak English get hired to deal exclusively foreign people? It’s a running joke among my Spanish roommate and her friends that the international relations officer at their university department doesn’t speak English. It’s kind of funny. Except not.
-Grèves. Far be for me to tell people they can’t strike, but the way the French go on strike makes no sense to me. Workers for the trains, schools, libraries go on strike for a day and then resume normal service. How does this help you get your demands? Yes, I am inconvenienced, but too briefly to get really angry about it. This week the school’s cafeteria workers went on strike and German food day was canceled as a result. A few days before the strike, the principal made a cheery announcement about it over the PA, telling everyone to bring sandwiches.
In the interest of fairness, here is a list of things I like about France and wish existed in Canada.
-Opening hours of offices/stores/organizations. The fact that the whole country shuts down for lunch is a double-edged sword. It really bothered me at first and is an inconvenience sometimes. However, there is something incredibly egalitarian about such strictly enforced dining hours. Sure you can’t do anything during your lunch hour, but neither can anyone else. Everyone is required to take a nice, long, unrushed break.
-The vacation time. I also feel like French philosophy about holidays is an extension of the previous point. They are on to something with this universal vacation time. During the month of August when the whole country goes on vacation, it’s only an inconvenience if you’re not on holiday with them (i.e. if you’re visiting France on your own holiday.) The French school system has a crazy number of vacations, many for no apparent reason (at least to me.) So far I’ve had week and a half off for the Toussaint holiday (October), two weeks for Christmas, two coming up in February (informally known as the French ski vacation) and two more for Pacques (Easter) in April. I will have been on (paid) vacation for two out of the seven months of my work contract.
-Overwhelming number of student discounts. If you’re under 26, you’re golden. You can buy a train discount card that gets you up to 50% off. In Strasbourg, as a student or young worker you can get a culture discount card that gets you into the movies, theatre, orchestra, opera, museums and concerts for free or super cheap. Unemployed people (and boy are a lot) get discounts too.
-The CAF. This is a program that refunds a portion of rent to people with low incomes. One of the really interesting things is there is no sense of stigma like there is with applying for welfare in North America. They calculate how much money to give back to you based on factors like your income, whether you live with roommates and whether your apartment is furnished. It seems like all university students have it and know all the little tricks to get more money back (like pretending to be in a common-law marriage with one of your roommates, regardless of gender.) This entry is tentatively in the “like” category and pending the day I actually see this money make it into my account. (If ever.)
-Telecommunications. Every service provider offers television, unlimited internet and a landline for about 30 euros. The kicker is you can call landlines in certain countries for free. Canada, United States, Taiwan, Hong Kong, China and all of the EU, aka all the countries where I could ever possibly need to call, I can call landlines for free. Recently, I found out that I can call mobile phones for free in North America since there’s no distinction in the phone codes between cell phones and landlines. This is unbelievable when you come from Canada, land of area codes and long distance fees. In fact, sometimes to call from one Toronto suburb to another (with the same area code) is considered long distance. It doesn’t make sense to me that calling internationally is included in the plan, but I have to pay extra to call a French mobile phone. Another great thing about mobile phones is the right cancel your contract at no cost if you can prove you’re moving to a place where your company can’t provide service. Don’t even get me started on owning a mobile phone in Canada–that’s a separate blog post.
Whenever things aren’t going my way, I tend to blame the country since it’s an easy scapegoat. While I try to be as fair and realistic about these experiences as possible, there is no denying that the French have their own special way of doing things. If you want the good, you have to accept the bad–merde and all.
