Today I finally understood why Albert Camus could write about such length about “the absurd.” He’s French. Of course this revelation came after a dalliance with the Office of Immigration and Integration. The way things work in this country is so preposterous sometimes, it could only be described as absurd. Sometimes the people, offices and bureaucracy make no sense whatsoever. On days when when these things converge and conspire against you, you can’t even feel upset, just numb. And you honestly just can’t be angry at the absurd.

Here is a list of things that irritate me about France:

-A general lack of communication between people/organizations. This is the worst and most evident when you deal with any government-run organization. New laws get passed and the people whose jobs are to deal with the general public have not received or read the memo. Of course, there are always people who are up-to-date and know what their doing but even they will tell you that getting things done or approved is a matter of luck. Different French people give you different answers to the same question. In fact the same person will give you different answers the same question. The official word that is posted on government websites takes ages to trickle down and come into effect in real life. The best people to turn to with your questions are other foreigners. Somehow they are always-up-to-date on new laws and procedures and have experiences to share about how they convinced French people that they weren’t just making these things up.

-The inability to say “I don’t know.” Instead of admitting they don’t know the answer to your question about how to do something or who to see, French people like to send you off to someone else. Sometimes this is done under the guise of telling you this is the person you who can help you. Other times, when it is honest, they send you to the person they think will know the answer. Inevitably, this person will not know the answer, do the same and pass you along. It’s the French version of pinball.

-Everything is more complicated than it needs to be.No one does this better than the French. If I need to deal with bureaucracy, I need to leave the house with every single piece of paper I have to prove my identity and whatever else they feel they need to know about me. Every single piece of paper requires a stamp or another piece of paper from someone else. Why not make it easy for everyone and making ridiculous and irrelevant demands? I complain about red tape in Canada but lately, I’ve found myself saying, “This would never happen in Canada.” It’s a little sad when you grow to appreciate your home only by living through a lower standard elsewhere.

-Opening hours of offices/stores/organizations. If you want to get something done you either need to get up at 8.00 or do it after lunch. The entire country shuts down at 12.00 and does not start up again until at least 13.30. (Sometimes it takes until 15.00 to get going again.) Everyone is on their lunch break except for restaurants, bakeries and some of the bigger stores. Even some supermarkets close for lunch. This collective shut down makes it impossible to run errands during your lunch break. Things re-open for a few hours and only to close between the hours of 16.30-20.30, depending what it is. Most things are closed by 18.00. Naturally, nothing except restaurants and cafes are open on Sunday. And how many times have I showed up at the library on Monday to try and return some things only to realize it’s closed?

-The lack of English speaking people. Yes, I know I came to France to speak French. But when I’m talking to the director of Office of Immigration, it’s not a language exchange okay? I’d prefer things to be clear than to practice my speaking. How do people who don’t speak English get hired for jobs that revolve around dealing with foreign people? It’s a running joke among my roommate (who is on exchange from Spain) and her friends that the international relations officer for their department doesn’t speak English. It’s kind of funny, except not.

-Grèves. Far be for me to tell people they can’t strike but the way the French go on strike makes no sense to me. Workers for the trains, schools, libraries go on strike for a day and then resume normal service. How does this help you get your demands? Yes, I am inconvenienced but too briefly to get really angry about it. The exception happened this week when the cafeteria workers went on strike and German food day was canceled as a result. A few days before the strike, the principal made a cheery announcement about it over the PA and told everyone to bring sandwiches.

In the interest of fairness, here is a list of things I like about France and wish existed in Canada.

-Opening hours of offices/stores/organizations. The fact that the whole country shuts down for lunch is a double-edged sword. It really bothered me at first and does remain an inconvenience sometimes. But there is something incredibly egalitarian about such strictly enforced dining hours. Sure you can’t do anything during your lunch hour, but neither can anyone else. Everyone is required to take a nice, long, unrushed break. I also feel like the principle applies for the month of August when the whole country goes on vacation. The French are on to something with this almost universal vacation time. It’s only an inconvenience if you’re not on holiday with them (i.e. if you’re visiting France from abroad on your own holiday and nothing is open.)

-Overwhelming number of student discounts. If you’re under 26, you’re golden. You can buy a train discount card that gets you up to 50% off. In Strasbourg, as a student or young worker you can get a culture discount card that gets you into the movies, theatre orchestra, opera, museums and concerts for free or super cheap. Unemployed people get discounts too.

-The holidays. The French school system has tons of holidays, many for no apparent reason (at least to me.) So far I’ve had week and a half  off for the Toussaint holiday (October), two weeks for Christmas, two coming up in February (informally known as the French ski vacation) and two more for Pacques (Easter) in April. I will have been on (paid) vacation for two out of the seven months of my work contract.

-The CAF. This is a program that refunds the rent of low-income people. One of the really interesting things is there is no sense of stigma like there is with applying for welfare in North America. They calculate how much money to give back to you based on whether you live with roommates, if your apartment is furnished, how much money you make etc. All students are on it and actually know all the little tricks to get more money back (like pretending you are in a common-law marriage with one of your roommates, regardless of gender.) Actually this entry is tentative in the “like” category and is pending the day when I actually see this money make it into my account. (If ever.)

-Telecommunications. With basically any provider you can get television, internet and a landline for 30 euros. The kicker is you can call landlines in certain countries for free! Canada, United States, Taiwan, Hong Kong, China and all of the EU, aka all the countries where I could ever possibly need to call, I can call landlines for free. Recently, I found out that I can call cell phones for free in North America too, since there’s no distinction in the phone codes between cell phones and landlines. When it comes to cell phones, you’re also allowed to cancel your contract at no cost if you can prove you’re moving to a place where your company can’t provide service. This is unbelievable when you come from a country where a town 20 minutes away with the same area code is considered long distance. Don’t even get me started on owning a cell phone in Canada.

Whenever things aren’t going my way, I tend to blame France, the easy scapegoat. I try to be as fair and realistic about these experiences as possible but there is no denying that the French have their own special way of doing things. If you want the good, you have to accept the bad–merde and all.

posted by vicky at 8:06 pm under Europe, France
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