Today I finally understood why Albert Camus could write about such length about “the absurd.” He’s French. Of course this revelation came after a dalliance with the Office of Immigration and Integration. The way things work in this country is so preposterous sometimes, it could only be described as absurd. Sometimes the people, offices and bureaucracy make no sense whatsoever. On days like these, when it feels like the entire system has converged against me, I can’t even feel upset. I just feel numb. There’s disbelief, but you just can’t be angry at the absurd.

Here is a list of things that irritate me about France:

-A general lack of communication between people/organizations. This is the worst and most evident when you deal with any government-run organization. New laws get passed and the people whose jobs are to deal with the general public have not received or read the memo. When you meet the rare competent and well-informed worker, even they will tell you that getting things done or approved is a matter of luck. Different French people give you different answers to the same question. In fact the same person will give you different answers the same question. The official word that is posted on government websites takes ages to trickle down and come into effect in real life. The best people to turn to with your questions are other foreigners. Somehow they are always-up-to-date on new laws and procedures and can give valuable advice on how to convince bureaucrats you’re not  just making it all up.

-The inability to say “I don’t know.” Instead of admitting they don’t know the answer to your question and asking someone who does, they often send you off to someone else (usually across town.) Sometimes this is done under the guise of telling you this is the person you who can help you. The other halfo the time, they honestly send you to the person they think can help. Inevitably, this person will not know the answer, do the same and pass you along. It’s the French version of pinball.

-Everything is more complicated than it needs to be. No one does this better than the French. If I need to deal with bureaucracy, I need to leave the house with every single piece of paper I have whether it’s related to the task at hand or not. Every single form requires a stamp or another piece of paper from someone else. Why not make it easy for everyone and making ridiculous and irrelevant demands? I complain about red tape in Canada but lately, I’ve found myself saying, “This would never happen in Canada.” It’s a little sad when you grow to appreciate your home only by living through a lower standard elsewhere.

-Opening hours of offices/stores/organizations. If you want to get something done you either need to get up at 8.00 or do it after lunch. The entire country shuts down at 12.00 and does not start up again until at least 13.30. (Sometimes it takes until 15.00 to get going again.) Everyone is on their lunch break except for restaurants, bakeries and some of the bigger stores. Even some supermarkets close for lunch. This collective shut down makes it impossible to run errands during your lunch break. Things re-open for a few hours and only to close between the hours of 16.30-20.30, depending what it is. Most things are closed by 18.00. Naturally, only restaurants and cafes are open on Sunday. I’ve accidentally showed up at the library on Monday countless times to return books only to find it closed and there are no deposit boxes.

-The lack of English speaking people. Yes, I know I came to France to speak French. But when I’m talking to the director of Office of Immigration, it’s not a language exchange situation. I’d prefer things to be clear, rather than practise my speaking and comprehension skills. How can people who don’t speak English get hired to deal exclusively foreign people? It’s a running joke among my Spanish roommate and her friends that the international relations officer at their university department doesn’t speak English. It’s kind of funny. Except not.

-Grèves. Far be for me to tell people they can’t strike, but the way the French go on strike makes no sense to me. Workers for the trains, schools, libraries go on strike for a day and then resume normal service. How does this help you get your demands? Yes, I am inconvenienced, but too briefly to get really angry about it. This week the school’s cafeteria workers went on strike and German food day was canceled as a result. A few days before the strike, the principal made a cheery announcement about it over the PA, telling everyone to bring sandwiches.

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